I've got Moses on the mind.
As I have been reading through Exodus, I can't get past Moses' call.
I feel a great connection with him. I feel his doubt as he argues against God's persistence that Moses isn't worthless.
And like Moses, I want to look God in the face and tell him to promise me that he will be there blessing my efforts. I think it also has to do with the time of year.
It is about that time of year again.
Sometime in the near future, I believe my elders will meet with me to evaluate my ministry role at our church. It is time of great insecurity for me.
I have yet to get a bad report and yet I feel that there is so much more I could be doing.
A minister friend said he feels like God could use a stick to do his job.
My reply was that God is using a stick; a carefully grown, honed, sharpened, and shaped stick that God has developed for a specific purpose.
Yet even as the words left my mouth, I felt the creeping insecurities enter my own mind.
What good AM I doing?
My concern is not that I have no talent. It is that I bury my talent.
Not in some unassuming humility sort of way, but in a lazy servant sort of way.
I know that I am no more than a stick that is nothing without God, but a hoe is only a sharp stick until it lets itself be used by the master and breaks the ground.
I'm tired of being a sharp stick, I want to be a hoe.
2 comments:
the only sharp stick i know of is usually stuck in my eye:)
i love the scene in the village where ivy asks lucious "how is it you are so brave when the rest of us shake in our boots?"
he replies "i do not think about what will happen, only about what needs to be done."
strength and honor
Phil.1:6 ...he who began a Good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ. Which means until your last breath you are not what God wants you ultimely to be until he is completed with you. Relax and be available. Phil.2:13 For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Again, be available. Dad
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